:behind:

 

it seems like lately I am behind on things….writing this blog for instance….but I think it’s just because I am busy doing other good stuff!!

the other day I was behind in tracking my points on my handy dandy app…..trust me that makes it so much easier!! I knew that if I didn’t get the food and points entered I would forget so I stopped what I was doing and just did it. From past experience I know that once I start straying off plan that is where I start the whole “I can’t do this” or “I am not good enough” soundtrack. I am not going down that path again with this journey so I wanted to head it off and the pass.

It made me think though about another place where I am behind….life.  If you have read my stuff before you know that after getting married young I had to basically start over at 30. I feel sometimes I like I am going backwards and that isn’t always good. People say to me all the time “oh just enjoy it, you are single you should be so happy. What they don’t understand is that there are some life goals that now I am not sure are in the cards for me. And I know I don’t know what those cards hold for sure….but at some point you have to let some dreams go and decide they just aren’t right for you anymore. I am not quite there with some of them but I can’t help but have that feeling of being behind in the race.

I am trying very hard on this new journey to look forward from the present and just know that whatever happens, happens. In fact in a couple of weeks I am going to get a new tattoo that basically represents that for me (I will share more when I get it). So I will continue to take each day as it is and just be and live. I will realize that some days I am going to suck at that and it doesn’t mean I can’t do it…it just means I am having a sucky day and that the next one will most likely be better.

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