Life · Spiritual

:renew:

As we head into what is commonly called “Holy Week” in the Christian world, I can’t help but remember my growing in Catholic school. There wasn’t much I could really say I walked away with when I graduated 8th grade and continued on to a public school. While the others continued their education through CCD and getting confirmed, I rebelled because I didn’t understand…but that is a whole other blog post. Anyway, if there was one thing that Catholics know how to do up right it is Holy Week and Easter. In fact, when I was led back to church and it was non-denominational Christian and there wasn’t much emphasis on this time, with the exception of Easter, I felt a little lost. There was a small part of me that wanted to steal away to mass and a Stations of the Cross. Now being so young and naive at the time in grade school I may have not understood why we celebrated or did these things but they have stuck with me; Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday….and sometimes I think wow how morbid to drag this out for a whole week. That though is just my nature to want it done now. Don’t mistake what I am saying as me running back to a Catholic church…oh goodness no, but I do cherish the sacredness of this week. The preparation that lead up to what really was our renewal.
Yes, you read that right OUR renewal; not His own, not God, not the other men on those trees…us. He did it for us. Who else do you know that would do something like that for you? Die for you? For your sins, for ultimate forgiveness. Yes, we all have loved ones that would die for us, would fight and stand by us through thick and thin…but His kind of love is the ultimate love, the ultimate price. Because of this we have a chance at renewal, at starting over. That thought stuns me quite honestly and it also saddens me to know that there are people out there that don’t have that hope in their hearts.
When we make major decisions in our lives they shouldn’t always be looked at like gloom and doom. Sometimes I think we can get hooked on “what if’s” before we even know what is going to happen. We don’t know really know what is on the other side of that decision. It could be the best thing we have ever done for ourselves. I am not going to lie 5 years ago when I made the final decision to file for divorce, I was scared, angry and had no clue what things would be like. I can look back now and know that was a pivotal renewal point of my life. I think right now I am going through another one or maybe even just an extension of that same one…not sure yet…..but there are certainly things within me that are changing again. So this time before the actual decisions are made, it is the preparation time, like holy week. The time to think and pray and even remember. Then comes the renewal just like God gave us…the second chance, the new version.

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