When you start to really delve into your faith you start hearing a lot of people talk about the concept of “grace”. It took me a long time to figure out what that really meant. Let’s look at the definition of the word grace….
1. Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
2. A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.
3. A sense of fitness or propriety.
4. a. A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill, b. Mercy; clemency.
Amazing how a five letter word can mean so much. In Christianity, we tend to use this word as definition number four states: a disposition to be generous or helpful or mercy. It has been a hard long road for me and that theory of grace and I know I am still not 100% on board with it. There are certain people in my life that I just can’t bring myself to practice grace towards. That’s ok I know that someday maybe it will happen, God will make that happen.
Yesterday, I was faced with practicing some grace. After two years, someone I had kinda dated texted me. It was just a casual hello and honestly I didn’t know who it was because I had deleted his number. The curious person I am wanted to try to figure it out more and as the conversation progressed I realized it was him. Before I go on let me say a little about our relationship….I kind of use that word loosely because when we started dating he had just been divorced for a short while and was still dealing with stuff from that, including sharing custody of his son. He wasn’t really looking for anything serious and for several months we just had fun. As time went on though I wanted something more concrete and he just wasn’t there. It wasn’t a bad ending we just kind of stopped talking. This was also a time where I was kind of bouncing from relationships that weren’t necessarily healthy for me because they were mostly physical. I can recognize that now and know that I am worth a lot more than that.
He has had an interesting and tough couple of months and I could tell that he just needed someone to talk to. I was at church since I was running lights this weekend so I told him that. He asked me where it was and I told him and said why don’t you come? Honestly, I didn’t expect him to and I thought maybe the service would be good for him. He does have a home church he goes to every week. He said yes and before I knew it he was sitting in the audience. I was glad that he came, the sermon I think was good for him and what he has been going through. I had no expectations of what was going to happen and felt no anger or resentment towards him. We went out to dinner afterwards and we just talked about what has been happening in both our lives and even a little about what happened when we were together. It was a nice conversation and he really did just need to talk.
We ended up taking a ride out to a local festival and watched the fireworks. Just two people that had nothing to do and enjoying the time together. It was more about friendship than anything. The reality is I have changed even in the two years that we were together. There is nothing there beyond friendship and it was ok with me that I could be there to listen and offer my thoughts. I was able to offer grace over what had happened between us and looked at a fellow brother in Christ that just needed to release some hurt. I don’t know why he chose me for that but I was glad that I had the opportunity to offer him a great church service to attend and an ear to listen. That my friends…is grace. It also gave me some closure to that part of my life….that felt really good.