today is Father’s Day. Please note that I didn’t excitedly shout that from the rooftops. It is hard to get excited when really I try to forget this day. I haven’t spoken to my father in at least 8 years, maybe even longer. I am not exactly proud of that fact but it is my reality. I choose right now not to have a relationship with him because it basically is toxic. He judges, questions and always has to have his way. He has said things in the past that I just can’t erase from my brain. I wonder sometimes if I am doing the right thing and then I remember the deep hurt he has caused. Given what has gone on in my life the past several years I don’t even know what he would say. Not to mention the tattoos….those might make him disown me 🙂
I sometimes wonder if he had been there for me how things might be different. Maybe I would have more confidence in myself and not bring the “daddy” baggage with me into relationships. Maybe I would’ve never married who I did. The fact is though that those maybes won’t get me anywhere and really I am ok today regardless. I plead with men who have daughters to really show them how they should be treated by men. They are the first male relationship they have and it is so important.
So today on father’s day I certainly have thoughts about the man who had part in bringing me into the world but it is certainly not thoughts of daddy dearest. Today I think about the men in my life who are great fathers and I celebrate them. I also celebrate my Holy Father is he will always be the daddy I can turn to. Sometimes we forget that God is our daddy and we can turn to him at any time and He will be there. No judgement or questions, just there with open arms.
…Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go