A few weeks ago my therapist pointed out to me that even on my blog I strive for perfection. What she meant was that I generally will wait and tweak and re-think what I am going to say. Case in point…I just deleted a draft of a post that I have been saving for about a month. I just didn’t like how it was going. This is not necessarily a bad thing..sometimes you write something in the heat of the moment and it is best not to put it out for the public eye. Really though, how far should you go when writing and editing and re-writing? Isn’t the purpose of a blog to get out what you are thinking or feeling? Whether it be deep down feelings or the latest recipe you are loving?
Part of the post I deleted was about satisfaction. What I have found lately is that I am searching for more satisfaction in what people think about me or what I write. Whether it is on this blog, Facebook, Twitter….it makes me happy when I get a comment or someone “likes” my status. Again, doesn’t seem like a bad thing right? But what if you are looking at this kind of validation too much. Do the comments and likes really mean something? Or are they just people being nice? Satisfaction is tricky…you know why? Most of the time whatever it is that you think has given you satisfaction has only given you false satisfaction. Go ahead re-read that sentence…
As someone who has struggled for many years with finding satisfaction in other things….food, shopping, sex, over-committing…it has taken me a while to understand that those were just things of false satisfaction. Do I still check my Facebook & Twitter to see what has been said on my latest post? Of course…this is a journey. Since doing the juice cleanse and really changing my diet, I have had more clarity on this. I have had to totally change my habits and find joy in other things. I am still struggling but at least I have a better handle on this feeling and I am working on re-directing it.
Charles Spurgeon says it best:
“In Jesus there is room for imagination’s utmost stretch
and widest range. When Jesus is enjoyed, He puts a fullness
into all other mercies.”