As I said in my last post, I have made the decision to head back to the therapist. Let me start by saying that I think therapy is a wonderful tool we have in our lives. A lot of people are afraid of it or think they can work it all out on their own. That is all well and good but sometimes you just need someone else who is impartial to listen and guide. To be perfectly honest, I have been in and out of therapy since I was in highschool.
So after the news of the ex getting married and them being pregnant, I had feelings come up that I knew needed working on. So instead of stuffing them down again I decided to deal. I got in touch with a great therapist through a friends suggestion and so far our sessions have been very good. Lots of background talk and making some concrete plans on things to work on. That is what I like the best, before you leave she basically has “homework” to do.
One of the things that I want to work on is this whole dating situation and really figuring out what or who I am looking for. When you come out of a long-term relationship you are kind of lost. There are so many new people to choose from and I think it is important to narrow it down. In the past couple of years I have probably been kind of lax in making sure people line up with my values and what I am looking for. I know I have been with people when really that isn’t someone I would want to be with long-term.
So what is the homework you ask? To make a list….ohhhh right up my alley right?? Yes…but this isn’t your normal everyday to-do list. This is a list of specific traits or qualities that I would want my next mate to have. Now, some might say this is being picky…but I am not talking about things like oh he can only wear a certain brand of jeans…I am talking walk a spiritual path, like to travel, be neat and clean…those types of things. I am to actually write this list…because then it is actually a physical living, breathing list right in front of me.
She also suggested that I have others who know me make suggestions. Maybe things I don’t see that I should be looking out for. So there is your homework people….go to it. Comment and let me know!!