lately I have been having a stirring….in my heart, my mind….I haven’t really been sure what it is. Maybe some growth? Maybe some realizations? I don’t really have an exact answer….but there has been something. This post that I am about to share I have to say is pretty personal…and might be shocking to some? Everything that I put out here really is something that is on my heart and I am ok with sharing it. Sometimes you can learn from others when they read what you say and make comments.
you all know that I am in a constant struggle with my weight and body…I have been in this struggle since I was a little girl. I have never known a time where I have really been happy with my body. Lately has been no exception. Between long hours at work and trying to just have a somewhat normal life otherwise, healthy eating and the gym have gone down the drain.
It’s funny how you can hide how you look to yourself…you put on baggier clothes and don’t dare go near full length mirrors. Well the other day I was brought face to face with my full length reflection in a store window…..I hated what I saw. I know..I know…hate is a strong word…but honestly I wanted to run from that person and then I realized it was me. The fact that I have allowed myself to get to a place where I never wanted to be. That I basically deleted months of hard work that I had done at the gym…it made me sick….and sad…and angry.
I don’t know where the anger will lead….I am hoping that it will inspire…for now I will just remember the fact that I didn’t like that reflection….that I want that person to be better.