:new word for an old habit:

this one has been stirring around in the brain for probably about the last week or so….yeah I know I should just get it out but sometimes I’m not ready yet. The words aren’t quite there. Even tonight when I felt like ok it’s time to write this one, I hesitated. Why? Well probably because this has been some really honest questions I am asking myself…and asking you. Thoughts that I really don’t even have the answers too…probably because there is one obvious answer that I don’t want to face.

a couple of months ago, I wrote my “State of the Health” address and kind of eluded to some of these questions. I sit here now a couple of months later and probably about 15 pounds heavier and now the questions are becoming louder in my head. Why is it when we know whats best for us we choose to ignore it?  why is it that I am sitting here 15 pounds heavier, back pain, headaches,etc. do I continue to make poor choices?

I didn’t become familiar with the word addict until it was right in front of my face in the eyes of my ex-husband. His vice was alcohol. As you start learning about alcoholism and addiction you really do see that it is a disease that runs deep in someone. They use the addiction to cover something up, to feed something that is missing, many different emotions. There are many addictions…alcohol, drug, gambling, sexual, etc. And yes….mine…food. I eat for no reason…to relieve stress…when I am bored…to make my mood better… It doesn’t really make a different…I am using food for other reasons than nourishing my body. See that is the challenge with a food addiction…you need food to live. Your body requires the vitamins and nutrients from food. But that is just the thing….there are limits.

in the world we live in we are surrounded by two things: the hollywood types that we “should” be like….or the fat people that long to be like them…and for those of us that fit into the second category we are bombarded by everything to “fix” it. There is no question that our society is extremely unhealthy and obese….there are a million articles, statistics, doctors, etc…that would back up my wide statement. So again I go back to my question…with all of this knowledge why do we (I) continue to make poor choices.

some would advocate that there are chemicals in our food that literally make us addicted to what we eat…some would say we just have no control…I actually think both of those could be valid. So where am I going with this? Not quite sure…to be honest..lots of random thoughts. Knowing that right now I am not happy with my body at all! Last week I had some bloodwork done that tests whether or not I am having a “toxic” reaction to common foods. These toxic reactions usually present themselves in these symptoms: acne, celiac disease (gluten allergy), depression, diabetes, fatigue, muscle pain, obesity, sinus and allergies….and the list goes on. On the full list I fall into about 85% of the symptoms they suggest….interesting huh? So as I wait for the results I wonder what it will say….and I wonder how I will react. Will I react like an addict…meaning if I know that something is bad for me…will I continue to do it?

Stay tuned to find out…..


One thought on “:new word for an old habit:

  1. I a proud of you for writing this blog….I know the same to be true of me, but putting it out there for everyone to see and hear took guts! Love you girl:)

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